Sale Of The Century Audition Day

It was a turning point as such and very bittersweet.

The audition day was the big day. My ex husband was supposed to go and audition for the show as well but he was way too hungover. Mum and dad were rather snotty about having to babysit while we went to Sydney for “something so frivolous and hopeless”. Keith ended up staying home and looking after the kids instead.

No-one wanted me to go. Everyone kept trying to talk me out of it, using statement’s such as ” You know you won’t get through so why bother.” Keith was very dark about it. He was controlling at the best of times and for me to go alone was against every rule in his book. In fact for me to do anything for myself was against his rule book. Not one person turned to me and said ” Yeah May, Give it a go” Maybe that is what made me more stubborn.

In the end, because it was something I really wanted to do, I just said I was going and went and caught the train up to Sydney by myself. I remember I was reading a Dean Koontz novel but I was more curious about the other commuters around me. Their blank stares as they sat stiff and straight in the train was amazing to me. It felt robotic. They sat still and straight, staring at nothing as they rocked slightly side by side. I wondered what was going through all their heads. I was rather hungover myself, I don’t drink now and didn’t much then but I’d had a couple of glasses of tawny port the night before and it made me really fuzzy headed and ill.

The lady next to me on the train was a muslim with a tiny baby. She was wrapped in a full gown from the top of her head to her feet. The baby started screaming halfway in the train. She had some friends or assistants with her and they all started chattering away in their own language with the baby held up still screaming. Eventually they must have decided he needed a feed. Dilemna – Public place. So for the next 15 minutes I was subjected to the most bizare sideshow I have ever encountered while these poor women tried to stuff this tiny baby under the hundreds of layers of material to find the boobie he so desperatly required without drawing attention to themselves from the commuters around them. It didn’t work, by the time the baby’s legs were the only thing visible sticking out the side of the mountains of material, every single passenger in the carriage was watching what was going on with stunned fascination. Ahhhhh finally Silence. My ribs had been poked and prodded as the train had rock through the tunnels while these ladies tried to feed the baby. It wasn’t the best time for poor bub to be so damanding and my poor ears and head agreed.

We arrived in the city and I caught another train to Business Disctrict. I was early, I found my way to the international hotel where they were holding the auditions and went and waited outside, still reading my book. I managed to sit in one of the only seats in the corridor so I was happy.

Out of the corner of my eye I was observing everyone as they came, doctors, lawyers, business suits, spectacles, briefcases, mobile phones (new back then). The halls filled with professionals. They all stood against the walls, some chatting, some trying to look busy and important, some were fidgetting and others were sneakily peeking around like I was. Soon after I saw a guy in jeans saunter in. We looked at each other and grinned. We were the only ones in jeans and gym shoes in the whole place.

The doors finally opened and we filed in. We had to complete a test of 50 questions where we would write the answers on a piece of paper. They were hard. At the end of it we were told to swap cards with the person next to us. I looked down at the bespectacled Dr. YinYang’s test who was sitting next to me and I choked. My throat siezed up, I was soooo wrong, none of my answers were what I was looking at on his paper.

We started marking with a man up the front calling out the answers, I started crossing out Doc Yin’s answers and thinking, “ooh i got that one”. I remember one question I got right was “Who was the first Scottish King of England”. – King James 1. I loved history and loved reading about the royal lines and wars.

At the end of it it we passed the papers back.

The man up the front called out to everyone when we had our papers back
“ok, who got over 45?”
No hands went up
“Who got over 40”?
No hands went up
“Who got over 35”
1 hand went up
“Who got over 30”
5 hands went up
“Who got over 25”
8 hands went up mine was one of them (i got 29)

“Ok everyone else can go home.”

My mouth hit the floor. I watched over 300 pissed off people stand up and file out. I was left seated in a now near empty auditorium with about 14 others. I watched the doctors and lawyers and the beautifully dressed people walk out. Then I turned and looked around, straight into the laughing eyes of the other guy in the jeans, who was still seated in the next aisle.

We both grinned.

We filled out paperwork and had pictures taken and then we were told to expect 24 hours notice at anytime in the next 12 months.

I walked out of the hall, still in shock, there was a phone on the wall in the lobby. I rang my parents and dad answered. He had a commiserative voice as he said “How did it go, was it fun”.

I answered him “Yeah dad it was ok”.

He said, “Never mind, another time, they are doctors and lawyers on that show you know”.

I said “Yeah dad”, in a flat tone, and then “But there will be me on there too”.

He answered “Yes maybe one day”

I giggled and said “No dad. within the next year. I got through”.

Dad’s voice changed completely to disbelief.

He said “You’re kidding”. I laughed and said “Nope, out of over 350 people 15 went through and I am one of them”.

He goes “I don’t believe it”.. which I knew, see no one had never believed in me. I was the naughty kid.

No-one realized I was just different and well, really smart… or a smartass *grins

So yeah.. I bounced all the way home..
Sale Of The Century

Me On The Actual Show. I was pretty happy there.


At the airport on the way home after taping the actual show. The other people were both contestants as well. Phil was a fireman, he won a big kayak. Sarah and I shared a dressing room at the studios. She won a gym treadmill thingy.

The story of taping is still to come.

Was there ever a time you can remember that nobody except yourself believed in you….
and you were right?

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