The Truth and What Lies Behind -Joe


some people are just cruel for no other reason than they are simply cruel people.

some people are just cruel for no other reason than they are simply cruel people.

I was in kmart yesterday shopping , kahleah walked over to the makeup shop cosmetics plus and she came back but couldn’t see me so she decided to ring me to see what aisle i was in.

Well phones don’t work in Kmart so it diverted to Joe’s number. he answered and kahleah asked “mum“?

Joe answered “nope fuck off” and hung up on her. She was about to say hi Joe and tell him she missed him…. when he hung up. She was in tears, devastated hurt and heartbroken.

he really hurt her … he has been her step father for 9 years now, she idolized him….. she called him dad … and this is how he treats the people that love him and he says he loves.

so here is a bit of truth to counter act those lies. When writing this, his words came back to me over and over in my head. It’s no wonder I felt so worthless, of no value, a mistake that needed to be erased.

Sir Cedric Scruffalot - with some real love

Sir Cedric Sruffalot – with some real love for me

Joe left in October 2017, after I had stepped back in to save my suicidal daughters life. at the time his words were, “I don’t want my own kids, what makes you think I want yours” I don’t want to live with any kids.

He said to me “you just used me to get what you want” “you just wanted a husband” “you just wanted a man to get away from your ex” No wonder glen was like he was, he couldn’t stand you either”

He said. “I told you to stop trying for your kids but you didn’t listen to me, you never do what i tell you to do and you never listen”. “You have to change magi” “I’m your husband Magi, your supposed to do what I ask”  You must be listening,magi” “shutup magi”

That hurt, broke my heart. See it wasn’t that I treated him bad, quite the opposite, I treated him too well, I put him before me, I treated him like a king, meals served nightly with the cold beer I made sure was always in the fridge. A fresh made bed to sleep in at night, clothes washed folded and put away
I would go without and so would the kids because he would whine that he had no beer or cigs and he had no money. “I can’t go out with my fucking mates for a drink when I haven’t got a cent in my pocket” . “Ive never gone without a pocketful of money in my whole, life until now” “I have always had money” “you waste money magi” 

He would spend hours berating me, telling me i lived in fairyland, I was crazy, I had no clue, all his mates hated me because “I was a real piece of work” they didn’t want me out there anywhere near them. I just ruin things. He told me they didn’t like me because of the bad person I was. “You treat people like shit magi”. “you ought to go and see someone magi, there is something wrong in your head”.”no one wants you around magi” “you are off the planet Magi”

I was always too fat or too skinny, I wasn’t allowed to talk or contribute to any communication, if I contributed to a conversation with my own opinion or something I knew it was “shut up magi”, “you don’t have a clue magi”, “you’re not a doctor magi”, “you have no idea what you are talking about magi”. This was always in front of other people, his mates, my mates, anyone.

I got smaller and smaller. The creative genius flame in me flickered and died off.

Joe ONLY bought 570 dollars into the house every two weeks, at first from the dole and then from the pension that I got for him. He drank beer, smoked and lived a rock and roll lifestyle. I cooked meals nightly for 7 and 8 people, both his boys who lived with us, their girlfriends often and my two offspring as well as our mate who lived in a caravan on our property. Through the whole marriage I would try and bring extra money in, through work with the bureau, markets, web development and other jobs where I could get them.

Joe began his business diploma for the NEIS scheme where he had to complete his cert 4 in business management. I DID IT ALL FOR HIM, the whole lot, his work his tests, every single scrap of his cert 4 was my work.

Joe of a night after dinner.. every night

He made me sell a couple of years ago. He kept on saying “you’ll never make money out of it”. “You will never make any money Magi” “you are just wasting money magi”, “you are just wasting time with that crap Magi” I told him I would make money off it but it would take a few years,  it was an investment not a quick return and then I could sell for more than 6 figures. he said “Ill give you six months”, six months later he said “well times up sell it now” I said “i cant sell now, i have 100000 people on the page and 2000000 active on website its happening but not ready“. his reply was “Nah I gave you six months, for fucks sakes, sell the cunt of a thing, you put too much time in it now“. “I am your husband you are supposed to listen and do what I tell you to do” So he made me sell it for 2000 dollars. I am still kicking myself but when you have to endure endless sarcastic comments over and over daily, there comes a time where you give in.. I forgive myself, I was in love and too stupid to know that I was being used and abused.

Joe has never washed the dishes in our house, he has never vacuumed a floor or made the bed, he has never cooked a meal, he has never washed clothes, cleaned the living areas, or stepped into the kitchen, his meals with a cold beer or 9 were put in front of him on the lounge in front of the TV. he has never fed the pets, including his own dog Nitro, who chose and made me his master because Joe never spent any time with him.

He never worked. He was either at the pub with mates or out at r’s sitting around the table with all his followers being the centre of attention.. good old Joe, he’s always good for a laugh.. always happy.. well that’s because he lives off misery, feeds off it… as he fed off my sadness that he had caused….

I was the taxi driver for his boys while Joe sat at r’s with the excuse he had too much to drink to be able to drive and could I come out after dark to pick him up and bring him home for dinner after I picked the boys up.

In the end Joe would ring me and ask me to take somebody who was at r’s place somewhere because he had to much to drink and poor him had to sit there and drink more. Who needed a taxi when you had your own voice activated computerized magi to do it for you.

If he wanted something for his car or something for him he would put his hand out. It had to be got then and there. No matter if it cost 500 dollars, we others could go without. bad luck he would complain that he had no money in his pocket to run around with… and start with his repetitious inane rhetoric.

I always thought of him first, he would say to me, “I feel like shepherds pie this week“, he would get shepherds pie. He loved hot dogs, he got steak, lamb, pork,chicken which ever way he wanted. “can we have some pork chops this week with some of the apple sauce you make Magi“..I wouldn’t mind those honey soy chicken wings that you cook this week Magi. 

Cooking to me is an art form a creation, I enjoy cooking and so I put everything into it so that it comes out to be enjoyed. Joe would eat it all, pass the plate for me to take back to the kitchen and sometimes say thanks. I would ask him how was it, I asked did he enjoy it…. he would answer, i said thanks didn’t I … do you have to ask me that, I ate it didn’t I.

I would always make sure there was something sweet for him to eat, because every night he would ask.. “got anything sweet” or of an afternoon “got anything to nibble on” … so it would be a cake Kiralea baked for him, brownies, cupcakes, apple pies, cheesecake, home made lemon pie or ice cream and flavouring. I always made sure he had something sweet to eat.

every year on his birthday, I would spend hundreds and always give him a party or bbq. I got a sum total of a glass fish off Joe and that was this last birthday 2018, not the previous ten and no parties or celebrations other than my kids trying to cheer me up and baking a cake.

He never took them to the shops so they could get me something and yet I remember the kids picking something special out for Joe every year and Christmas. for me all I got was I couldn’t get you anything magi.. you didn’t give me any money to get you anything Magi….. I wasn’t near a shop…. I didn’t have time.. . I didn’t know what to get you.. I didn’t know it was your birthday.

We lived half an hour from town, many times he would have the car and I would be at home with no car. I would ring him and ask him to pick up either milk, bread, cigs or even a drink for me on the way home. Every single time, he would start yelling at me, “for fucks sakes magi can’t you do anything right”. “I can’t run around after you all day”. “Leave me the fuck alone magi I want peace when Im out” “you live in my pocket magi”. “I’m not here to do shit for you magi, this is my life”. “it’s not about you Magi” “For fucks sakes magi why didn’t you get this yesterday” “why didn’t you grab it the other day when you were in town”, “you know we live out of town, why can’t you be prepared”. “I’m out here to have a drink with my mates and have fucking fun not run after you and get you shit all day”.

I did everything for him, he didn’t know how to log into centrelink or the bank so I had to do it all, pay all the bills, pay the rent, balance the money, make sure he had beer, make sure he had white ox, make sure what bills had to be paid to avoid disconnections and make sure he had a pocketful of cash so he wouldn’t whine. He would whine anyway.

He called me his voice activated computer “I’ll just get my voice activated computer to do it”. That was me to him.. I was the sum of everything that I could do for him. There was no me in me, I was just a voice activated computer that he had brag rights to.

If someone admired one of my glass pendants, straight away, he would say. he made that. If I corrected him and told him that I had made it he would always double question it and claim my work as his

if something did go wrong, like having to pay for a water pump for him instead of internet payment and the internet got cut, he would go on and on and on, “christ you are hopeless”, “what happened to all your money”, “jesus you waste money”, “Do i have to take care of everything because you failed again”. “you cant get anything right” “you are hopeless Magi”

I’d go shopping and drop him at the pub first and pick him up when I had done everything.. and that means everything, make sure you get petrol before you pick me up. I want to go straight home. Didn’t matter that the fuel station was on the way home.

I don’t like mobile phones so I often didn’t take it with me. I figure things can wait until I’m home. If I wanted a phone with me I would of bought the tardis..he would yell at me, where’s your fucking phone…”my answer would be “at home on charge” well why isn’t it with you” “a personal phone means you have it on you at all times”…”why don’t you leave it on charge at night like a normal person it would be full now”, “I’ve been trying to call you wheres your fucking phone“.. on and on… and my reply would be  “why were you calling? im on my way back to the pub now” …… can you stop at Uncle Dans before you pick me up and get me a case of northern, a case of vic bitter for r’s and two wobblers (casks) for T.

Early this year I had to sort some centrelink stuff for kahleah at an appointment… got there 2.30, I dropped him at the tavern first. I was at centrelink for ages left about 3.30, he rang and yelled when he found i was still at centrelink, he asked me to stop at bunnings and get him some fruit and flower. I went to bunnings, had to get 2 gas bottles swapped over, gas bottles are heavy for me to carry so took more than five minutes…I went to stocklands…. went to tobacconist and then grabbed a few things from coles… left and drove to aldis for weekly shop.. full trolley, I’m breathless and stressed. I rushed I knew I would be in shit.. got to checkout lines all full waited ages, packed the car drove back to pub, got back 515 … “where the fuck have you been” “wheres your fucking phone” “you’ve been six hours” “you left me here like a stale bottle of piss” .”its almost dark fuck you”. “what am I supposed to do”? “sit here and drink?” “i wanted to be home hours ago”. “everyone has gone home for dinner”..”so you had to get gas for fucks sake?” “you should of left it today and and come back earlier, you can drive into town tomorrow and get gas”. “fuck you are stupid Magi” this was yelling at me in front of his mate curly in the pub with everyone watching..

he would go off the bat at me and usually find out later he was wrong, he would never say sorry or apologize, if someone reminded him he was wrong, he would somehow make it my fault anyway and if he did say anything, it would be always have a but  ….but you did.. but you said ..

all I heard weekly if not daily was “you need to change Magi” the few times I didn’t curl in a ball inside and hide, I would ask him. “change what, change what part of me”. his answer was always, “for fucks sakes magi we have gone through this time after time”. “I am not going to tell you again” you must be stupid or there is something wrong with your head Magi… you know what you need to change”….”shutup cunt”

At Takura just before he left we drove up home one day to drop something off before going out to r’s…. of course he was having me drop him at r’s because… drinking…. as we came to a stop wade came to the gate and said that the horse had got out. Joe started screaming at me that I left the gate open. “you cant fucking get anything right, you are so stupid Magi” fuck you are hopeless” you are as fucking useless as tits on a bull”,  I said no I remember shutting the gate. he kept yelling. “your a fucking liar” .”your off your head in fairyland, you wouldn’t know what you did”. “Fuck off I’m over this”  ,”I’m leaving”.. “fuck living here with you and your asshole kids”, “you cant do anything right”, “I can’t live like this anymore, I’m over your shit”,”all you do is lie to me”, “you are a fucking compulsive liar”, “you lie to everyone”, “no wonder everyone doesn’t want you around” “Georgi-porgi  cant stand you, T hates you and doesn’t want you around and “K-Anne said she thinks you are a nasty cunt and wouldn’t trust you with anything and she cant stand you either “. “shut up I’m sick of hearing your shit”, “all you ever do is get up me”, “if you don’t shut up now I’m going to smash you”. From Takura to Torbanlea he drove, screaming at me the entire way. I sat there quietly .. even when he said “got nothing to say now cunt” you know you are wrong eh, you know you are a fucking cunt of a liar” “Fuck you are a useless cunt Magi”

When we got home later he went to open the gate and I drove in, it wasn’t until I overheard him talking to Wade, I found out the truth when he said” “wade we have to fix that gate the horse broke the lock by pushing it” … he never said “Oh I’m sorry I was wrong” in fact he kept on letting me believe that I was imagining shutting the gate properly.

If Joe wanted to go somewhere it was right them and then only. Even if it was to go for a drink or to go to ro’s… “Hurry up Magi”, “I’m not waiting Magi”, “fucking come on will you”, “for fucks sake i told you we had to be there at a certain time” “oh fuck it, I’m out of here”. “I’m going, see you later” and he would walk out, leaving me standing there in tears.

In the car he would always tell me how to drive, every time we went anywhere I had to drive because he was always drinking “you are fucking hopeless magi”, “you can’t drive for shit magi”, “slow down magi” “speed up magi”, “you are changing gears wrong” “magi where is your fucking head at Magi” “slow down before a corner magi”, “don’t use your brakes Magi” “Magi its a 100 along here and you are only doing 90” “speed up” “hurry up” “I want to get home today for fucks sake” “Here I will show you how to do it Magi”

when he left in 2017, I had just started getting courage to stop his constant stream of abuse.I started to pull him up on his abuse. that went down like a lead zeppelin. When I would defend myself, or tell him how I felt he reply was always “you just bore it up me Magi” “all you do is get up me Magi” “you have to argue about everything” “you are crazy Magi” “you are off the planet”

he screamed at me a couple of days before he left because I was trying to buy our property at a bargain price. “you fucking cunt Magi” “you fucking ruined my life and now you have sent my son bankrupt before he has started in life” “fuck you cunt Im out of here”, “I’m not going to answer to anyone anymore” it’s my life and I’m going to have fun without you” “I’m sick of being miserable and having no money because of you Magi” ‘fuck you cunt I’m out of here” 

He walked out took his boys and left me, he took what he wanted of our items, left me with no car and a rent to pay and a house to clean up and move while he went on to party. To say I was devastated is an understatement  I was broken, shattered, used and abused and then discarded like a piece of crap wiped off ones shoes.

I felt like a failure, I felt as worthless as he had continually slammed into me. I was I was an empty shell, but slowly I started to live again.

Then not long after I received a text message from him “I miss you”

I texted him back he said come around I miss you so much I want you bad. and the roller coaster ride started again.

So I thought we could save our relationship, little did I know how used and abused I was.

He had it great, lived his life how he wanted and came home every night to my house. Nothing changed he still did not want me to have anything to do with his life during the day but at 6 30 he would drive in the driveway, and sit on the lounge and wait for me to serve his dinner, then he would fall asleep on the lounge.

He expected me to wash his clothes, buy his jeans for him and his socks, cook for him, fuck him, rub his feet and then he would walk away to go “home” to play hero to his followers.  He didn’t pay for any of the food I bought him. Nor the rum I bought him. He loved that I was a tech and got me to download all the latest and greatest races, movies Ufc fights everything. He lived the high life, he had income and he bought a new car with his ill-gotten gains.

In July 2018, everything was going along and then all of a sudden he said he was going camping for the weekend with r’s and K-A and he I wasn’t coming. he said he was going to kilkivan on a private property for something r’s wanted to do. He said he just wanted to get away from me for a while, he said I lived in his hip pocket.

The morning he left he asked me if he could borrow 150 dollars, I gave it to him and waved bye before wandering sadly down to my wonky jetty on the river alone to have a cry and a think

I questioned it all while I sat there. I questioned myself and my reality. I was so sad the tears just poured down. The river is full of my tears. Was I as crazy as he said? I had been withdrawing from people, I no longer wanted to go out because he was saying that no one wanted me around, no one liked me. I felt unlovable, unwanted, hated. I felt useless

It was all good for him to come to my place at 6 30 each night, take over the loungeroom and TV, push the kids out into the other room and be served up dinner still sitting on his lazy ass and if I had rum for him I would pour him a rum or 10 if not, beer. I would want to know how his day had been, or start to tell him something I had discovered exciting. I would open my mouth to say something and every time without fail he would not look away to me from the tv but his hand would come up between us “shhhhhh” I’m watching this. It didn’t matter that it was a rerun of wicked tuna he had seen six times, it was always “shoosh magi Im watching this” if I kept talking it was “shutup Magi” in fact it was always “shutup Magi

Joe makes out to be the hero but the only thing he is good at is getting everyone else around him to do the work and then taking the credit himself.

If Joe wanted to go somewhere it was right them and then only. Even if it was to go for a drink or to go to r’s… Hurry up Magi, Im not waiting Magi, fucking come on will you, for fucks sake i told you we had to be there at a certain time oh fuck it I’m going! see you later and he would walk out.

23rd March this year was Zac’s birthday. Joe told me he was going BY HIMSELF without me. For once i said no.I loved those boys as my own. I wanted the best for them. one of my proudest parenting moments was talking Zac into going for an interview at fresh and save and then him getting the job. I took care of those boys since they had come to us before he had poisoned them against me and I loved them and I was coming to say happy birthday to my step son.

So we got there and sat around the table. There was a couple of Zacs friends there. Joe was centre of attention at the other end of the table and I started to talk to Zac who was sitting next to me. All of a sudden I heard Joe’s voice yell over everyone elses. SHUTUP MAGI. “You know nothing”. That was it. Yet another time I was all content and happy and he just ripped into me and left me sitting there bare naked an empty abused shell of nothing.

The tears poured down my face, I couldn’t stop them.

I tried to sit there and not look the picture of sadness that I was. Zac kept looking at me but he turned to his mate on the other side of me and started talking to them.

10 minutes later Joe jumps up and says come on magi we are going and he left, telling zac he would be back later to party.

We got to the car for the half hour drive home and of course it started, every moment, every word, cutting into me like a hot knife into butter bringing me more tears, creating more fears.
he said “its over, I’m not coming around anymore”, “fuck you you will never see me anymore” “fuck this I got my life to live”, “I’ve got my image to maintain in front of my mates and you just do this shit” “you’re useless magi, you live in misery”. “No one wants you around magi you just bring everyone down“.

I spoke then, one of the first times ever about this I said: “the only misery in my life is what you have created, what you have done to me. See me now, I am the result of your words of cruelty and your actions on me”.

His reply was screamed “Shutup the fuck up for once Magi, you just want to bore it up me all the time”, “Fuck you are full of shit look at you, you’ve got brain damage or something” “you’re on drugs”, “you’ve lost the plot magi”. “All I cop from you is abuse magi.” “No wonder no one likes you” “no wonder you have no friends Magi”

I kept my balance though my tears and fears, after being torn apart, degraded, belittled, in front of his children and their friends, by this time we were near torbanlea, i waited until he seemed out of breath and i said. I have a right to speak, I have a right to hold a conversation, I have the right to have a discussion, all this “boreing it up you”that you keep accusing me of is you flying off the handle making the same inane statements over and over and acting like I am the one abusing you.

I am or was your wife, Someone you are supposed to treasure, hold with respect, care for, protect put first to you not number five or six behind all your mates sitting around the table all day getting drunk. You lie to me, over and over. You treat me like a piece of dirt, leave me behind when you go anywhere and then accuse me when I ask to go somewhere with you of “living in your pocket”

Something did happen to me last year when he pushed me aside, when he got me to give him all my money leaving me with none for the weekend, he had great sex with me the night before after his delicious scotch fillet and mushroom sauce I made for him, then the next morning off he went  with the fresh clean clothes that I had washed folded and put away for him to what I thought was some urgent mission for his mate R’s and his girlfriend. When in actual fact he and r’s and ka were all going to a party for the weekend without me and lied about it  to me to what to that point, I thought were both our our mates for the weekend.

At that time, the universe gave me a cursed blessing or a blessed curse which ever way you want to look at it, For every lie told to me, truth would be revealed to me. It was an amazing experience and while it tore my soul to shreds, I marveled at the ways that are.

April 8th this year Joe rang up after I had ignored him for a week, saying to me “everyone is in bed here and the lights are off why don’t you sneak around here for a fuck” its dark no one will see you. I listened shocked. I said Joe we are married why should I sneak around to see you, why are you ashamed of me or something. he kept begging me to go around to his. Then I said I can’t walk around there I’m burnt I cant walk and hung up

The next morning Joe saw me in Howard and rang me when I got home. “I thought you said you were fucking burnt you liar” I said I am burnt all over my feet and chest and head. He said you are such a fucking liar.

The next day he rang and said “whats for dinner” I said lamb, he said Ill be there at 7. So he came around and I showed him my burns and showed him that I had shaved my head because my hair had been sticking into the the burns and was agony” he said he liked my hair and grabbed me and said lets have sex. Not a sorry you weren’t lying, do you need any help.

After we had sex I said to him. I can’t do this anymore Joe, You just use me for what you can get out of me. Go and find some other slut to fuck, don’t come back until you learn some respect and common decency.

The next week I got the call from Dad that I was dreading. My mum only had days to live and she was calling for me. I called Joe to ask him for a lift to the airport. All I got was fuck you Magi, I’m busy with my mates, I cant run around after you all the time, you just want to live in my pocket Magi” he went on and on and on and on as always. it was like he had an audience  in front of him and had a show to put on and was trying to prove to them what a crazy cunt I was.

so I ended up hanging up on him and packing my backpack and then I painfully hitchhiked the many hours down to the sunshine coast airport to fly down to Sydney. I just made it in time for the plane. I was in so much pain I would of dropped except this was for my mum so I pushed through it, nearly screaming in agony. I got to Sydney and was picked up by my mum’s cousin and his lovely wife and we went straight to the hospital and there I stayed for 12 days watching my mother die and helpless to stop it.

A few days in my kids rang they were out of food and had no petrol so I rang Joe and asked him if he could take them to the shop with the woolworths voucher I had sent them. As usual he started screaming at me he was in town at a mates place and too drunk to drive. Once again I felt like he was yelling at me because he had an audience watching on, watching him abuse me for being the useless cunt he had told them I was. he ended up going around the next day and he said to Kahleah and my kids. I love your mum very much, I just can’t live with her at the moment.

The day my mum died, my phone rang, it was joe. He began screaming straight away and said you fucking thief you stole 500 bucks from me. I was in the hospital room surrounded by my family sitting beside mum’s bed. I said what? huh? I’ve never stolen from you in my life. he just kept screaming that I was a thief. I had figured by this time that there was a girl there he was trying to impress. I was right as I soon found out..

At the time Joe and I got paid opposite weeks so he would lend me money some weeks ..usually it was him paying me back for the money I had lent him the week before so I could go with him for a drink or a Tbone on Tbone Turdsay as well called our regular Thursday night thing. He would never shout me or pay. It was always me handing over my money with him crying poor and I would pay him back the next, it never balanced out.. he still owes me for multiple tobacco packs from whining that he had no money and could I get him a pack or a case of beer… I still pay his phone account with my account as mine is post paid. He has never paid me a cent for his phone bill. Even though I ask him, he doesn’t care. As long as Joe is alright and playing the hero it was all good. Who cares if I can’t buy milk or get cigs or fuel.

So he would say to me, log into my account and take the money I owe you. I would, never thinking he would call me a thief. He would always ask me for cash if I owed him any. He offered to pay for mum and dad to come up at Christmas, made a big show out of it.. within a month he had already got that money back off me anyway but he looked the hero, that counted to him. His image.

So he was screaming about me stealing imaginary money off him. I interrupted him and said do mind, my mum has hours to live and I have to listen to this shit from you, have some humanity fuck you.

I hung up and sat on the floor in a corner of the hospital room sobbing, my cousin looked at me and said I am so sorry Magi, we heard every word he said then, does he always speak to you like that? you poor thing, what an asshole. I was deeply distressed then because i had been sitting next to mum when he called with my phone on speaker, and she started shifting around in her bed. Two hours later she died, that was the last thing she heard in life, Joe screaming at me abusing me and lying and calling me a thief.

I helped dad arrange her funeral and paid for two of my children to go down to wollongong from Queensland. After the funeral I came home to find I had a notice to leave when my lease expired. Joe didn’t ring once and still hasn’t to send condolences, dad was devastated. Mum had loved Joe like a son and spoiled him rotten and that was how he repayed her love.. with abuse just to show off in front dumb chick not even two weeks since we had stopped sleeping together after I said no more go find some other slut to be your cum bucket .

I heard a few weeks after from another of our so called mates girlfriend who was laughing as she told me Joe had a new girlfriend. I really didn’t think he would stoop so low to let me hear it like that, even though I already knew the moment it started way back I had always told him if you start seeing someone else please have the decency to come over and tell me so I don’t have to hear it off anyone else. He was all like No Magi, I love you I just can’t live with your kids. lets be exclusive, I don’t want anyone else, we have great sex.

To Joe’s mates who i mistakenly thought were my mates too..this is all truth. You will know it ids true by what you all have heard him say to me.  I hereby officially pass my Pandora’s gift to you…’s called a below average Joe. You may keep your gift, throw it away, wipe your feet with it….Do what you want with it because you can be assured it will do what it wants or wants from you It will take from you whatever it can, whenever it can, but make no mistake.. it doesn’t like you, it only has room for itself. It only wants what it can get from you, from health to happiness… It will bitch about you behind your back “fuck that T**n is just a cunt and a real nasty bitch when shes drunk and falling all over the place ” “Fuck she’s a wasted bitch”  “I can’t wait for Ross to dump that useless lazy bitch KA” “she just sits there on her ass getting stoned all day” “ross thinks he runs things but he doesn’t run shit” “Fuck Gorgi is a mouthy cunt” “daves gonna dump her drunk ass anyway”fucking lindsay and christine just hang around all day like a bad smell“… and more much much more… all of you.. he bitches you all out… remember what he said about me? don’t think you escape his gaslighting. Joes all about Joe.

There is no returns and no refunds…. it is one of my dirty old hand me downs, so you get it in its sloppy  hasbeen false lying state as is… it’s called Joe ..  or in Mel’s words “R’s PURSE” and “Cookies handbag” ps r’s he was the one that called the cops those times to your house when he would start yelling at me.

To Joe’s new fuck the marriage breaker.. yeah good onya good luck with that *smiles* you will read this and think its all bullshit.. Im just a crazy bitch .. I may be nuts indeed, who cares, you poor thing… one day soon you will see I’m telling the truth… then he will move on to his next best thing…

See I don’t lie, its part of my sworn oath to the Guardians  who have awesomely shown me I do count my work is appreciated and I am  worth more than the abuse from Joe. I am truth by name and nature, All of this is truth. See Joe’s the crazy one, the alcoholic druggy, (yes ross he uses when he wants to ..  dont tell r’s he would freak if he found out .

He cant face himself, you are just there as a distraction and someone to worship him.  Join the line love if he threw me away, his wife and the one he said up to the day I told him not to come around anymore in April “you are the love of my life magi” “I love you Magi” please don’t for one minute think you count .. you are just someone to wash his clothes, cook for him rub his feet and make him come and fill you with his crap be his good time and be a taxi service.. I hope you don’t have kids.. because he acts like  a spoilt brat if he isn’t the one you give your attention to and although he pretends to like them.. see above.. (I dont want my own kids what makes you think I want anyone else’s).. oh but he makes sure you come first when sex.. he makes sure and prides himself on it so much  that it turned me off in the end.. with his”did you come” questions… we had a great sex life, right up to the last fuck.. I never turned him down ever, I loved sex he was my “mate” and he was always saying “fuck your hot magi, fuck you make me horny Magi …

*rolls eyes* oh and when you have sex, he is still thinking about me, he sends me that message quite clear every time you have sex. Ask him, I knew when he started fucking you, Joe and I ARE and always have been linked universally AND magnetically and attached, binded  deeper than you could ever dream of.. your Joe you THINK you have is a lie, you just got a facade, you’ll be ok as long as you don’t shine and you know its not about you or your feelings and thoughts its all about Joe. Understand it’s Joes way or the highway, you must be ‘ristening to him. Do not press him to tell you the truth and do not tell him how you feel.. he couldn’t give a shit.. too much work …he doesn’t care about anyone except the image he projects to his mates . so much about Joe you don’t know and never will.. just smile and be nice.. spread your legs for him when he requires you to be his depository.. don’t mind the bad health after and the aches and pains you get, that is Joe’s secret.. or so he thought…   and he loves head jobs and his balls sucked but don’t expect to be appreciated or cared for or go places with him after your shiny bits wear off. Hes about his mates and his rep on show. Joe is a fair weather friend.. and you are just there for what you can do for him at his convenience.. and only when it’s convenient .. good luck with it..

and to my lying king Joseph.. damn I hadn’t talked about you.. I really had moved on to much better and greater things, I have created so much and so many special things since I came back from mum’s funeral. You low life fuck, you had to hurt my mum didn’t you and hurt my kids as well as your own in your rush to be on show.   you walked over all of us in your rush to be the king of all of nothing.

I had almost forgotten you in your tiny little existence of drinking and smoking and living  the party lifestyle while I have been doing some amazing things, helping so people, learning so much myself and travelling on a pathway that already has resulted in so much success .. oh wait, your about money, so your wouldn’t think its worth’s Magi’s fairyland .. wrong again honey

but that bullshit gutless drunken slobbery phone call last week where you once again wrongly accused me of posting shit about you and your disciples on facebook and then hung up before I could even ask what the fucking hell you were raving on about, gave me universal permission to tell the truth so here it is..

I still feel the pain of your betrayal .. I always will .. I can live with that but you cant live with yourself… so sad you couldn’t face truth.. sad for you not for me…

ps someone.. or was it no-one..then again it might of been everyone.. said to tell you..YOU Joe have no power because a lie holds no power …..hear this…. every time you lie, people are going to see right through you..  truth is power because it’s invincible and unbreakable even by your lies and abuse. I am the strongest happiest most at peace tranquil and fittest I have ever been. the universal balance  I’m all about love because love is the truth and here is the truth love,    don’t contact me again until you can bow your head with the shame you wear .. unless of course you can face truth and ask forgiveness which will never happen and once you got your dick wet elsewhere I don’t want anything to do with it. I never looked sideways at anyone else. I was  totally loyal to YOU. You must of been drunk  and missed the memo though – everything that you did to stop me created me..


and I bite … and I know the truth behind what you did and why, so be very careful do not let another one of your bullshit accusations and denigration of me even cross your little mind. Now you can actually reap the crop that you sowed. It set firm and strong. Its called truth.  I doubt you have got the intestinal fortitude “courage” to stand there and tell truth or be real, you need your sycophants to boost you up and make you feel worthy. Me I’ll face the world head on, grounded firmly with stability and balance and I’ll do it alone if need be armed with my lil’ sword of Truth and my heart of rainbows that loves nothing more than bringing a smile to someone else’s face and if need be breaking down and destroying lies one tiny controlled worm at a time into the skinky fetid crap they are. Very wormwood of me I know.. Funnily enough I am not alone, I am surrounded by awesomeness and universal divine love instead of compromising myself and others by lying bullshit and fairyland fantasy. I love my life now I am rid of decay . Did you forget that Magi is a nickname of my name MArgarETruth or just did you ignore it pretending you were the king. Sorry, not this time you forgot to look in the mirror, it all reflects to be exact.

so this is me leaving the past behind and using one of my all blessed curses or cursed blessings cursed of logos… the word…creation…  writing it out, writing him off, chalking it down to experience, chalking it up to knowledge and learning becoming more each day doing more seeing more and yet still being nothing but a special nothing, a nothing that is something, the true lion King. and I’m finished with it.. being finished with Joe

Immortally not yours love always Maצet –   The nothing who you created Just became everything.



How The Narcissist Gets Away With Abusing People And Come Off As A Good Person



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