Top Bloggers

Top Blog­gers

I’ll nev­er be a top blog­ger
and have the fans fall at me feet
I won’t attract all those stalk­ers
who fol­low blog­gers like dogs on heat

I’m slow to get to com­ments
because i’m out­side chas­ing kids
and breath­ing in the cool fresh air
while watch­ing but­ter­flies land on lids

I’ll nev­er be a top blog­ger
cos I won’t refresh my blogs
or fawn to 8000 read­ers
while i pull my pud and have a flog

I can’t blog of a bor­ing life
or the farts I do at night
when din­ing out to din­ner
with a date to smell my plight

I’ll nev­er be a top blog­ger
cos i blog all about the place
one day i’ll be writ­ing poet­ry
the next I’m post­ing off my face

I don’t have a pho­tog­ra­ph­er
to take sexy shots of me all day
to stick up on my pro­file page
to make my read­ers swoon and sway

I won’t grab a sexy pho­to
of a blonde with lar­gish tits
and post it on my pro­file page
say it’s me and watch the hits

Deana and the twins are back BTW one of the great­est ladies to rock Myspace ever.

I’ll nev­er be a top blog­ger
cos I can’t crawl up your ass
I’m too busy hav­ing argu­ments
about anorex­ic peo­ple smok­ing grass

I can’t post the waf­fling com­ments
that tell you how good you are
when the truth in fact is dif­fer­ent
I think your head belongs in a jar

I’ll nev­er be a top blog­ger
even though I know my work is good
I can’t play the game of bull­shit
but behind my work I always stood

I can’t log in for 24 hours
just to build a social set
or to tell peo­ple that i love them
though their face I’ve nev­er met

I can’t build a fake per­sona

that is not real­ly me at all

or to pre­tend that I am inno­cent

as the tales I tell grow tall

I can’t send some­one sweet mes­sages

and then laugh behind their back

or play at polit­i­cal cor­rect­ness

just so that my num­bers stack

twins

I’ll nev­er be a top blog­ger
and that’s the truth of that
but the day i do make the ranks
i swear i’ll eat my hat

I’ll take lots and lots of screen­shots
and post them on my blogs
then sit back and bathe in the glo­ry
and then I WILL go and have a flog

 

Then I will be a top blog­ger
one of the high­est rank­ing here
even though in real life
I sit and get fat from drink­ing beer

I’ll write to the TV sta­tions
and offer myself for show
they can use my huge blog rat­ings
and I’m sure their load will blow

I be the best at being top blog­ger
and take my shirt off in the sun
and pose to be a ball girl
Im sure that’s lots of fun

I’ll grow a fake per­sona
and begin to think it’s real­ly me
I’ll become a total ass­hole
and cause dra­ma that you’ll see

so my dream of being a top bog­ger
is not real­ly tru­ly real
because I can only blog my blogs
of things inside that I strong­ly feel

So instead of being a top blog­ger
I think i’ll just be just be me myself
and I’ll wan­der through the rank­ings
like a com­man­do switched on stealth…