My life as a clown
You ever hear the one about the clown that wasn’t happy?
I’ve heard it myself ………They say that Clowns are sad fucks.
Well I’m here today to tell you it’s true. We are.
Oh don’t worry I AM A clown, just ask anyone that knows me in real life. My kids call me a clown daily. I am always pulling faces and doing tricks for them and pulling pranks on them to make them laugh. When I go out with my friends I keep them in hysterics all night with my antics. The drunker THEY get, the funnier I get. Forgot to add, I don’t drink, my Bravado is not found by using beer goggles….
Even though in many ways I am an incredibly shy, self reflective quiet person, put me in company that needs a giggle to brighten up their lives and I will have them wetting my pants…. and if there is another clown in the room with me….. well we just bounce… creativity sparks to life……
Well the amazing thing I have discovered is that when I am at my lowest and saddest, a survival mechanism kicks in, I create LOL’s and smiles and all things fun and then I use that to draw energy into me and use it, to survive another day, to stand up and breathe and to take a step further into the dark cave I am journeying.
As fast as my cup gets emptied by life’s pain, I do my utmost to keep energy flowing back in. Some times that cup is long dry and then a spark, an acknowledgment, a laugh from someone comes to me and that tiny drop revives life and restores me to a condition that I can keep going on… it gives me the air to breathe.
It is almost like a spirit orgasm.. I get off on making people smile and seeing them laugh and be happy… it warms the cockles of my widdle heart that lately has been growing colder by the day… nothing will make me smile. I have nothing to smile about other than to see others smile… thats not a pity me request either… it is a truthful statement of “clownship” the secret code of a true clown…..
I find at this moment for as deep a my pain cuts, as low I have sunk in the quagmire we call life, my creative energy and positive output actually equals the depths. My rises are just as high as the low points are low. The work I create at these times stuns me when I look back at it later.. Did I do that? Did I create that? and that gives me more energy to work with..
and its those positives in my life that then make me realize how well off I truly am .. I CAN create.. it is a gift I treasure.. because that very act of creation balances up all the destruction.
I have a new admiration for clowns today.. a deeper appreciation of who they really are inside…. they still scare me though….. but then I have a deeper understanding of that fear too.. it is once again a genuine admiration of all things clown and a healthy respect for the darker mind of a clown………don’t ever fuck with a clown… and don’t ever fuck with his LOL’s ……….please see ALL of the above for explanation…
Santa Claus is the ultimate clown you just never saw it until then. His wears a clown suit complete with bells, he has the ruddy red face and the wig with silly hat.. and well just substitute the new age white paint for the old fashioned white beard and …
the original clown
Ho Ho Ho…..and just as the clowns of today like to make children smile and laugh…well damn isn’t that Santa’s job description and he is really the king of the Clowns because while every other clown in the world has their circus, Santa get to show his “clownship” to all the children in the world… and lets face it Santa haz candy.. Clown haz candy…
The original Clown that every other clown in the world has molded and shaped their work on.
